Forgiveness. It never means the offence or offender is “off the hook”
To forgive is never to say that the offence was in anyway justified. It’s not “Okay”. Forgiveness is much more for the offended than the offender.
Coming to this reconciliation is difficult when you do not know if your partner is truly finished offending or if they are even honestly willing and capable of change.
Perhaps they are, and the relationship is worth saving. Perhaps they are not, and staying will only lead to more hurt and betrayal. Real Relationship Goals offers a straightforward process for determining which category you, your partner, and your relationship fall into, respectively. Habits of connecting outside of your relationship can be difficult to break; you and your partner need to each be motivated, willing, and capable of working in order to change these behaviors and dynamics.
The alternative is to live the definition of insanity; to do, say, and think the same things over and over but expect or hope for a different result. Hope is not a strategy, and therefore you need to have an intentional plan comprised of steps to ensure real change. THAT is where this program is bringing real results, in real time.
Every action, every spoken word, every feeling begins with a thought, and when we become aware of these habits of thought, we affect the outcome. You can learn to intercept them as they occur and to replace them with thoughts and habits that instead meet the needs of our partner, put the “good stuff” in, and banish the destructive thoughts and habits that brought us to this terrible place in the beginning. It may seem easier and feel safer in the short run, to continue to hold the offender accountable by not forgiving, but instead staying angry. However, anger eventually gets stale and with time becomes resentment. In this way, forgiveness is vital for YOU, even if you don’t stay with your partner.